trying to manage / by Peter Panacci

19/10/2024
I feel like i’m living waiting for her to come back
thats why i can pretend to be okay
when nothing is okay


28/10/2024
everything feels heavy today
… too heavy …


29/10/2024
theres a hollowness
deep within me
a rift torn open,
an empty well

i try to scream
to force something
into that emptiness
to feel anything

paralyzed by feeling too much
and too little
all at once
this broken world i cannot recognize


31/10/2024
you seek out places that are empty, void, bleak"
where the sadness can come out,
can envelope you, devour you
thats the only way to feel real,
to feel okay not being okay

finding places where you can be empty
alone, distraught
sometimes it seems like the only way to breathe
and make it
moment to moment
day to day

fade away