As much as i want my feelings to be accepted, i know they are just ephemeral,
passing moments that mark time in ways which make me sad or make me smile.
it’s these quiet times, when i’m compelled to think, to write, to expose myself, that life feels most real.
they’re never the happy times, they always sting and hurt, as life often chooses to do
but they are also authentic, the most visceral, the closest connection i have to feeling, to being, and for that, i am grateful.
maybe these are the only moments that let me know i’m real
even if i’m only talking to myself
there is an echo when we touch,
that misleads my fragile heart
silent moments when life seems wonderful
where only we two exist
these quiet gifts, though i yearn to be true
are naught but misguided hopes
a wayward soul, lost in thought,
for far too long
i live for these moments, … alone,
building my castles out of sand,
watching the waves gently pulling at my feet,
feeling life ebb and flow through my soul
the ocean knows where i have been,
it’s seen these tears and heart before,
and it always carries me back.
for some, you have somewhere to be, there is a home waiting for you,
a welcoming smile and a warm embrace.
for others, like me, who wander in their thoughts,
we never seem to find that place. life is just the unknown,
extending and receding within and without us,
stretching back to memories we wish we had,
feelings of belonging we can’t seem to hold onto.
there’s a home out there somewhere,
but maybe not for me,
it takes all kinds to manifest all of life,
and someone has to drift along the waters edge,
waiting for the next wave to carry me forward, or pull me under,
it’s all the same when you’re building castles out of sand
some people are made for the sun,
courageous, fearless souls who seize life, moment by moment
shining brilliantly for all to see
i was made for the rain,
quiet moments that hide my shallow nature, somber thoughts that pass by unassuming,
tears washed away as quickly as they fall