There are certain milestone periods of our lives when we connect so intimately with a book, a song, a movie. Somehow they cut through everything we are experiencing and touch something deep within us, harmonizing all the turmoil, suffering, heartache or joy, and capture it forever in time.
When we experience them again, we are taken back, or they echo within us, stirring those emotions and feelings once again. It can be a beautiful experience. It can be haunting and bitter sweet.
I love those connections. They remind me of the love I’ve had, the moments I’ve shared, and the dark times I’ve been through. It’s easy to lose sight of who we are, where we came from, but these reminders connect us back to our old selves. They are small wake up calls and touch stones that can keep us grounded.
Here is one of my favourite songs by Bob Dylan that summarizes so much heartache and regret and turmoil I’ve gone through at different stages of my life. I found this song first when I was in high school, a naive shy boy who thought he knew what love was. I never even confessed my feelings, I was too shy to approach the girl I liked and lived silently love struck, wishing I was braver and more outgoing.
Years later after my first real breakup and bad relationship moment, I found this song again, the perfect companion to all the regret and heartache I was dealing with. It put into words the emotions and feelings I couldn’t express. I knew I wasn’t alone, that others had felt so exhausted, so dejected and so betrayed.
Now parts of me return to it again, in different ways. A verse in it will speak to me. A few lyrics will remind me of what I’ve gone through, of the experiences that have shaped me, of what my heart has endured. It’s sad, but I am grateful to have had that sadness in my life, and to have gotten over it. Life is at its most beautiful when it is deepest. The brightest highs and the darkest lows.
The left side is the original lyrics and the right side is just some thoughts I have.
“Don’t Think Twice, It’s Alright” by Bob Dylan
It’s too late to regret, to sit and wallow in what could have been … it won’t change the past. Don’t dwell on what happened, it’s already too late …
The time has come to move on, I wish I could have stayed, but you’ve pushed me away and I’m already gone. Don’t think about it, don’t regret, life goes on …
Well it ain’t no use to sit and wonder why, baby
Given you don’t know by now . . .
Well it ain’t no use to sit and wonder why, baby
It’ll never do somehow …
When your rooster crows, at the break of dawn
look out your window and I’ll be gone
You’re the reason I’m a travelin’ on
But don’t think twice, it’s alright …
Turning on your light; letting me in, seeing the real you, opening up and showing me that you wanted me there … That time has passed, you could have shone that light on me before, but I’ve been in the dark too long, walking alone …
An it ain’t no use in turning on your light babe
The light I … never know’d …
An it ain’t no use in turning on your light babe
I’m on the dark side of the road
There is still that small glimmer, that hope that things could still change … don’t you see, I love you, if only you’d reach out, meet me half way, do something, say something, show me you want me…
But I wish there was something you’d do or say
To try and make me change my mind and stay
We never did too much talkin’ anyway
But don’t think twice, it’s alright …
You’ll miss me when I’m gone … Now that it’s too late, don’t try and reach out to me, don’t call me back, I’m too far gone and I can’t hear your voice
I loved someone in the past, the person you were, the woman I had in my mind, but I realize it was just an image, a phantom. I gave you all I could, but you wanted more, more than I could give. Love was never enough … but please, don’t worry about it … I don’t blame you …
So it ain’t no use in calling out my name, gal
Like you never done before
An it ain’t no use in calling out my name, gal
I can’t hear anymore
I’m a thinking and wondering walking down the road
I once loved a woman, a child I am told
I gave her my heart but she wanted my soul
But don’t think twice, it’s alright
I’m moving on, to somewhere new, I don’t know where it will lead me, but I have to move on alone. Goodbye makes it sound like a happy ending, a pleasant way to finish things off … but it’s not like that.
You didn’t mean to hurt me, you didn’t do it on purpose … but I tried, and you just too me for granted. Don’t worry about it, I’ll be forgotten soon and you won’t remember what we had. Don’t think twice, it’s alright …
So loooooooooooong, honey babe
Where I’m bound, I can’t tell
Goodbye is too good a word babe,
So I just say fare thee well
I ain’t saying you treated me unkind
you could have done better, but, I don’t mind
You just kind of wasted my precious time
Don’t think twice it’s alright